✨From Parent to Coach: The Secret to Staying Close to your Kids FOR LIFE
One day, without realizing it, you stop tying their shoes.
You stop buckling car seats.
You stop cutting grapes in half and reminding them to brush their teeth (and they go to school without brushing them…a good Brennan story 😊)
Slowly, your role begins to change.
I remember when my children were little. Like many parents, I thought my job was to guide, teach, protect, love, and prepare them for life.
And it was.
But what I didn’t fully understand then was that parenting isn’t just about raising children.
It’s about building a relationship that will last long after they no longer need you to parent them.
Today, all three of ours are adults.
They are independent, capable, and building lives of their own.
Yet, some of my greatest joys come from the fact that they still call.
They still ask for advice about which insurance plan they should choose.
They still want to spend time together and plan their holiday weekends bringing
their tribe to us.
Somewhere along the way, our relationship shifted from parent-and-child to
coach-and-adult-child.
And that’s exactly what many child development experts encourage.
As children grow into adulthood, the healthiest relationships often emerge when parents move from directing to guiding.
I have always thought of it as bowling.
When our kids are little, we’re the bumpers.
We help keep the ball out of the gutter.
We set boundaries, teach values, and gently nudge them back on course.
But eventually, the bumpers must come down.
Not because we stop caring – but because they need the freedom to roll on their own.
That teaches them that we believe they can do it.
Will they throw a few gutter balls? Probably.
So did we.
Our job isn’t to run down the lane and grab the ball.
It’s to cheer from the sidelines, remind them where the pins are, and trust that everything we’ve poured into them will help them find their way.
For Perossa 5, that’s always HIS way for them. We keep pointing them to Him.
The goal was never to raise children who needed us to bowl every frame.
The goal was to raise adults who know we’re still in the bowling alley…
Cheering louder than anyone else.
Our role changes from lane manager…to biggest fan.
And maybe, just maybe, we keep the nachos warm while they figure out their next turn.
It’s ALL about the relationship!
Instead of solving every problem, we ask questions.
Instead of controlling outcomes, we become trusted advisors.
And man, I feel honored for that position in their lives.
We cheer from the sidelines while remaining available whenever they need us.
But I don’t believe that transition starts when they turn eighteen.
I think it starts much earlier – in the little moments of connection.
It’s NEVER too late
Maybe you’re reading this with toddlers climbing all over you.
Maybe you have middle schoolers who seems more interested in their friends than
your family game night.
Maybe your children are already adults and you’re wondering if you missed your chance.
You haven’t!
Connection can begin today.
Not tomorrow.
Not when life slows down….because it won’t.
Today.
Ask one more question.
Take one more walk.
Learn one more thing about your child’s heart.
Find their love language.
Create one small moment of connection.
Because relationships aren’t built all at once.
They’re built minute by minute.
Magic Minute by Magic Minute.
And one day, years from now, when your grown child calls you just to “gab” on their drive home from work, you’ll realize those small moments weren’t small at all.
They were building something that lasts a lifetime!
Try a few of our little ideas in our summer Magic Minutes kit. ⬇️
Get your Summer Magic Minutes printable